Why Repetition Can Feel Uncomfortable

I woke up at 8 am with my mom on Thanksgiving to go to a 2 hour group yoga practice. During this practice we stretched lots, chanted, did laughing exercises, and got in touch with our mandala. I was so relaxed the whole time. All my stress from the tests I had taken and worries about the end of the semester were almost completely erased. In this moment, I thought to myself, I wish life were this peaceful and simple all the time. However, reflecting on many aspects of my life after this calming session, I realize that it can be that simple. Our thoughts ultimately determine who we are and who we will become. If you let your life revolve around school or a sport or any one thing, you will find it is redundant and repetitive.

I keep thinking the same thoughts, doing the same old routine, and stressing about the same thing. I used to meditate, go to bed before 11, sing and dance around my house, and have weekends filled with service events and hangouts with my friends. It is not that I lack friends, or service activities, or don’t have the time to meditate and sing and dance, it is that I have stuffed my schedule with time to stress. It is as if I feel I owe it to myself to sulk in sadness for all the things I have to do.

The other day I burst into tears during a swim set because I convinced myself I had failed my AP Bio test. My coach pulled me out of the water and comforted me for a couple seconds before looking me in the eye and saying, “well gosh don’t you have a hard life… it’s not like there are people starving somewhere.” He was right, I didn’t really deserve a pity party. Everyone messes up just like everyone has parts of their life that are mundane. However, it is our attitude and efficiency when doing these things that will pathe the road to happiness and adventure. It is a privilege to be in school and sports. The stress that many of us carry on our shoulders would be privileges for many.  

So give yourself 15 minutes to sulk, when needed, but never feel like you aren’t smart or your life must revolve around one test, or one game, or one club. I am happy to say that I spent more time today cuddling and playing with my dog than on homework. I only have so much time left with my family, with my dog, and my friends before the end of high school and I don’t want to isolate myself from them because of grades or swim. Remember to remind yourself of your priorities and the things that will always love you and support you. Repetition can feel uncomfortable because there is nothing new. This gives me an itch; I desire change! Rememebr to explore new hobbies, explore your relationships, and keep things jazzy. 

Stay positive and don’t forget to love your life.

-Syd